Beautiful Disaster
by SeriouslyMcGuilty
Summary: Izzie finds herself flirting with plastics, and a certain conceited plastic surgeon- Mark Sloan. But when tragedy strikes in both of their lives, she realizes there is much more to him, and they learn they can find comfort in each other. McStizzie
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone. This idea sorta just popped into my head and I was going to wait until I finished my other story to write it, but I got impatient and just decided to write the first chapter and see how it does. I have kinda been wanting to write a McStizzie story for a while, and I was reading another fanfic with McStizzie friendship, and it really just made me want to write this even more. So...here it is. I hope you all like it, and please read and review..let me know what you think! :-)

**_Kat_**

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Chapter 1

"Doctor Stevens," Doctor Mark Sloan said, stepping aside to let the young resident get closer to the patient. "Do you want to try?" he asked.

Izzie smiled brightly as she looked up at Mark. "Yes, I'd love to," she said, standing in the place Mark had been standing moments ago.

"Now, you need to be very careful. Skin grafts are extremely delicate procedures," he said, hoping she was ready for this.

"Yes Sir," she said, taking a deep breath before beginning. "Dermatome," she said, holding out her hand for the instrument.

"Now, carefully cut the epidermis and dermis along the dotted lines I've made," he said, leaning over, watching her closely.

Izzie did as she was told and when she had successfully cut the area of skin indicated away; she set the tool down and gently picked up the skin.

"Now place it, carefully, on her face," Mark said, instructing her precisely.

Izzie did as she was told, and placed the skin on the patient's cheek before stepping back.

Mark looked at her strangely for a moment before speaking. "Do you plan on attaching the graft to the patient, or where you planning on just leaving it the way it is?" he asked.

"I'm sorry Doctor Sloan, I figured you were going to attach it," she said, surprised he was going to let her do the entire graft.

"Well I was going to let you do it since you had been doing such a nice job, but I see I assumed you could handle it," he said, turning to the patient.

"I can," Izzie said, stepping back up.

"This takes skill and confidence," Mark said, looking at Izzie.

"Then it should be no problem," she said, looking back at him, letting him know she could handle this.

Mark looked at her for a moment before stepping aside once again to let Izzie finish the job.

Izzie smiled to herself before finishing the procedure.

- - - - -

Izzie sat down at the table where Meredith, George, Cristina, and Alex were all eating lunch.

"What are you so happy about?" Alex asked, noticing the bright look on Izzie's face.

"I just rocked a surgery," she said, taking a bight of her turkey sandwich.

"Weren't you on Sloan's service today?" Meredith asked, surprised that Sloan had let Izzie do anything.

"Yes I was," she said, with her mouth full.

"Wait a minute, you rocked one of Sloan's surgeries?" Alex asked.

"Sure did. I kicked ass," she said, still smiling.

"More like kissed ass," Cristina commented.

Izzie's smile faded slightly. "Excuse me?"

"What'd you do, meet him in the on-call room?" she asked, jokingly.

Izzie laughed as she took another bight of her food. "I'm sorry, is that the sound of a loser who worked the pit all day?" Izzie asked, smirking.

Cristina rolled her eyes before returning to eating.

"Well good job Iz," Meredith said, smiling.

Izzie smiled before looking at George. "George, it was amazing! He let me do the whole thing myself," she said, gloating.

"He probably wants to see whats underneath your scrubs," Alex said, laughing slightly.

"What? You don't think that maybe, just maybe, he thinks I show a talent in his field?" she asked.

"Right, you and plastics? I don't think so," Alex said, laughing again.

Izzie rolled her eyes. "You know what Alex, you're just jealous that he lets me actually do surgeries and only uses you as his little secretary," she said, standing up. "Make sure you don't forget what kind of coffee he likes and where to pick up his dry cleaning next time you're on his service," she said, walking away angrily.

Meredith gave Alex a dirty look before standing up and going after Izzie.

"Iz," she said, catching up with Izzie.

"Why is he such an ass?" Izzie asked, pressing the button for the elevator.

"I have no idea," Meredith said, sighing. "But you know he's just jealous, and he likes to push your buttons," she said, looking at Izzie.

"I know, but it gets a little old," Izzie said, stepping into the elevator.

"I know," Meredith said.

The doors opened and Doctor Sloan stepped in. He looked at Izzie and smiled as he pressed the button for the 3rd floor.

"Great job today Stevens," he said, smiling.

Izzie blushed slightly and looked away as she muttered "Thanks."

When the doors opened again she hurried out of the elevator, with Meredith trailing not far behind her.

"Oh my god," Meredith said, looking at Izzie.

"What?" Izzie asked, trying to pretend she had no idea why Meredith was looking at her like that.

"Seriously?" Meredith said, standing in front of Izzie with her arms crossed.

"What?" Izzie asked, turning redder.

"You have the hots for McSteamy," she said, looking at her.

"No..no," she said, looking away.

"Ok really? Then why did you blush like a teenager when he complimented you?" she asked, smiling.

"Meredith, I so did not blush," she said, as if Meredith were being completely absurd.

Meredith laughed lightly. "Right. And I was never a dirty mistress."

"He's just..kinda hot," Izzie said, staring off into space.

"And kind of a man whore," Meredith added.

Izzie looked at Meredith and sighed. "I know that," she said "It's not like I would ever consider doing anything with him," she lied.

"A huh," Meredith said, walking away.

"Meredith, I'm serious!" Izzie yelled after her. She stood there for a moment before deciding she really needed to busy herself.

- - - - -

Izzie was sitting at the bar after her shift at the hospital had ended, keeping Meredith, who was currently drowning in her sorrows, company.

"He kissed that scrub nurse," Meredith said, downing another shot.

"Mer," Izzie said, trying to comfort her friend.

"He told me it meant nothing, and that I was the only girl in his life," she said, setting the glass down. "And he claims I'm not ready or whatever," she said, asking for another shot.

"Well, are you?" Izzie asked.

Meredith turned and looked at Izzie. "I don't know," she said, drinking her 6th shot in 10 minutes. "But I told him that I hoped Rose or whatever made him happy," she said, dropping the glass.

"Whoa," came a familiar voice.

Izzie turned to see Mark Sloan standing behind Meredith.

"Doctor Sloan," Izzie said, trying her best not to blush.

"Its Mark," he said as he smiled. "This seat taken?" he asked, motioning to the one on Izzie's other side.

"No," she said, feeling incredibly warm.

"What's wrong with her?" he asked, looking at Meredith.

"McDrea- uh, Doctor Shepherd, kissed some scrub nurse," Izzie said, feeling extremely embarrassed that she almost called Derek 'McDreamy' in front of Mark.

Mark laughed slightly. "I see," he said.

"Yeah, so now she's drinking away his memory," she said, watching Meredith down another.

"Meredith."

Izzie turned to see Derek standing on the other side of Meredith.

"You do not get to say my name," she said, looking down at the bar.

"Meredith," he said again.

"Seriously, just leave her alone," Izzie said, looking up at Derek.

He looked at Izzie for a moment, before deciding to ignore her.

"Meredith, come on. It didn't mean anything," he said, resting a hand on her arm.

"Okay, you know what?" Izzie said, standing up from her bar stool. "Just leave her alone, you've hurt her enough."

"Doctor Stevens, this is between Meredith and I," Derek said, looking at Izzie.

Izzie laughed slightly as she stepped toward him. "Okay, you may be my boss at the hospital, but right now you're the guy who damaged my friend. So if you don't back the hell off, I-"

"Izzie," Mark said, pulling Izzie's arm. "Calm down, he just-"

"You know, there's too much arguing in bars, I think I'm just gonna go," Meredith said, walking out the door.

Derek glanced at Izzie before following Meredith.

Izzie went to go after them, but was held back by Mark.

"Let go of me," she said, trying to pull away.

"Let him go after her. Give him a chance," Mark said, siding with his friend.

"No. He keeps hurting her, and one person can only take so much before they eventually-"

Izzie's sentence was cut off by a few loud bangs, followed by a horrible, blood curdling, scream.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everyone! Thanks so much for the reviews for the first chapter! I was happy that everyone seemed to like the idea od the story..so thank you to: gizziefan118, marlyp, bohemiangirl, brightandshiney, beth1814, and cl06 for reviewing! I reallt did love your reviews, they were great and very encouraging. So you guys are the reason that Im updating already. So anyway, here is the next chapter, so hope you all like and please read and review! :-)

**_Kat_**

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Chapter 2

Izzie looked at Mark for a brief second before finally breaking free and running outside. At first she didn't see anything out of the ordinary; just a few people gathered around something on the ground. But as she got closer, she realized it wasn't just _something_ on the ground, it was Meredith. Izzie's eyes widened as she looked down at the puddle of blood that was forming around her friend.

"Meredith," she said, staring down in shock.

"Izzie," Mark said, coming up along side of Izzie. "What happ-" he began, but followed her gaze. He looked down at Meredith's motionless body, then suddenly looked around. "Where's Derek?"

Izzie didn't look though. She didn't even acknowledge Mark's presence. But then it suddenly kicked in. The gravity of the situation suddenly kicked in.

"Meredith!" Izzie said, bending down to check her friend's pulse. "She has a pulse, its faint, but its there," she said, looking up to find that Mark wasn't standing there anymore. She looked around and saw him a couple of feet away, crouched down next to someone else.

"Did anyone call 911?" Izzie asked, looking around.

"Yes, they're on their way," some man said.

"They're only across the street, how long does it take?" Izzie yelled, starting to panic. Izzie looked down and began searching for the source of the bleeding. She turned Meredith onto her side and saw a bullet wound in her back. "Shit, she's been shot," she said under her breath. Izzie looked up to see the paramedics pulling out a stretcher.

- - - - -

George spotted Lexie walking down the hallway with a vase full of flowers and sighed deeply.

"Lexie!" he called out, catching up to her.

She turned to see him and smiled. "Hey George. Look, I found some more flowers. Don't you think they'd look great by the-"

"Lexie, you cant keep taking stuff from the hospital," he whispered to her.

"Well the patient just left them in her room, so I figured since they were going to throw them out anyway, I might as well use them," she said, hoping he would see her point.

"Yeah, but-" he began, but his pager went off. He looked down and saw it read 911 just as Lexie's went off too.

"911," she said, knowing they were paged for the same thing. She set the flowers down and followed George to the ER.

"What've got?" he asked, looking at Bailey.

"There was a shooting at Joe's and they're bringing in the gunshot victims," Bailey said, heading out the door. She pushed open the door with George following closely behind.

The ambulance pulled up and the doors flew open. George looked up to see Izzie standing there.

"Izzie?" he asked, feeling confused.

"Female in her 30's, gunshot wound to the mid back," the paramedic said, taking the stretcher out.

"It's Meredith," Izzie said, stepping out with the stretcher.

George looked down and to his horror; Meredith was indeed lying there, unconscious.

Bailey watched as Izzie and George took Meredith away and was tempted to follow, but was shaken from her thoughts by Lexie.

"Sorry Doctor Bailey, I was caught up in there," she said, smiling. "Are the gunshot victims here yet?" she asked, completely oblivious about who was just taken inside the hospital.

"Uh, yes, theres another ambulance," she said, as she heard the sirens and saw the ambulance pull up. The doors opened and Bailey was again, greeted by a familiar face.

"Move out of my way!" Doctor Mark Sloan shouted as they pulled the stretcher out.

Bailey looked down to see Derek Shepherd lying on the stretcher.

"Dear God," Bailey said, following Mark into the hospital.

- - - - -

"Its lodged in there pretty far," Izzie said, examining the bullet wound. She finally got a hold of the bullet and was trying to extract it when the heart monitor went off. Izzie looked up and swore under her breath. "She's losing too much blood!" she yelled.

She finally got the bullet out and prepared to stitch up the wound when the monitor flat lined.

Izzie looked up and stared at the monitor, frozen in fear.

- - - - -

"He's lost too much blood," Bailey said, throwing away yet another blood soaked cloth.

"No he hasn't," Mark said, as he noticed Derek's heart rate drop. "He's not breathing!" he said, moving to start CPR.

"Paddles!" Bailey said, as Derek flat lined. "Sloan move!" she yelled, reaching out for the paddles. "Charging at 200!" she said, placing the paddles to his chest.

Mark watched as Derek's body jolted, then fell back to the table. "Derek," he said, feeling completely helpless.

- - - - -

"Doctor Stevens!" someone yelled, snapping Izzie back to reality.

"Give me the paddles!" Izzie said, holding out her hands. "Charging at 200!" she said, as she shocked her friend. She watched the monitor and saw no change. "Again, charging at 300!" she yelled, before shocking her once again.

- - - - -

Bailey looked down sadly as she stepped away from the operating table.

"D-Doctor Bailey, are you going to call it?" Lexie asked, as tears filled her eyes.

Bailey looked at Lexie for a moment before looking over at the clock. "Time of Death, 11-"

"No!" Mark yelled as he began CPR again. "I will not give up. I will not let you die. You hear me Derek? You can't die, you can't leave me!" Mark screamed as he pressed down on Derek's chest.

- - - - -

Izzie ripped off her scrub cap as she hurried out of the OR.

"Izzie!" George called after her.

Izzie hurried away, not wanting to talk to anyone at the moment. She just needed to get away, and think. She ran around the corner and into the nearest linen closet. She shut the door behind her and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She opened her eyes and saw Mark Sloan sitting there on the floor, staring blankly at her.

She opened her mouth to say something, but found herself unable to speak. She just simply looked at him, as if silently asking if he was okay.

He looked at her for a moment before looking away. He didn't want her to see him like this. He didn't usually let people see the softer, more vulnerable side.

Izzie walked towards him and sat down next to him, taking his hand in hers. He looked down at her hand and gave it a tight squeeze, communicating to her that he was thankful she was there.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey everyone! Thank you so much to those who read **and** reviewed: Megan Nicole, bohemiangirl, gizziefan118, marlyp, and Mcalison. I really loved the reviews, so please..keep 'em comin! Oh, and I am going to be kinda busy for the next few weeks, b/c I'm graduating from college this weekend and then I'm going out of town next week. I hope to update before I leave town, but I dont know if it will happen or not. So, please just hang in there, and hopefully when I come back, you all will still want to read my story. Well anyway, here is the next chapter, so please read and review..and enjoy :-)

**_Kat_**

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Chapter 3

Izzie sat there staring at the monitor, waiting, hoping, for any change. She wasn't sure how long she had been there, but she did know that the whole time she'd been there, not a single thing had changed. The stats were exactly the same as they had been the moment she walked through that door. She sighed and put her head in her hands. She couldn't just sit here and wait for something to happen. She was too restless and as long as she just sat here, the images would keep running through her mind. Images of finding Meredith lying there, surrounded by a puddle of blood. She shook her head and stood up. She walked over to the bed and laid a gentle hand on Meredith's arm.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do more," she said quietly. "You have to pull through this. You have to wake up," she whispered, as she choked back the tears. She turned around and walked out of the room. She paused at the doorway and turned back to take a final look before leaving the hospital.

- - - - -

Mark was sitting on the bench outside of the hospital as the rain poured down on him. He came out here quite some time ago, but found himself unable to go back to his lonely hotel room. He was use to living alone, but he wouldn't be able to sleep, so what was the use of going to his room. Derek had just been over there the night before, drinking with him. And now if he went back, he would be reminded of him and just have to endure the eerie silence. He clenched his fist as tears slowly fell from his eyes. Why hadn't he been able to save him? He could have acted quicker, or done something different. Derek had just begun to trust him again, and now he let him down.

"I let you down," Mark whispered to no one.

"Doctor Sloan," Izzie said, walking towards Mark who was sitting all alone in the rain.

Mark ignored her and continued to look ahead.

Izzie stood there for a moment before stepping in front of him. "Mark," she said, looking down at him.

This time he actually looked up. He could see the worry and exhaustion on her face, but couldn't quite understand why she was talking to him.

"Shouldn't you go home?" she asked, feeling worried about him.

"I live in a hotel Stevens," he said shortly.

Izzie looked at him sadly and sighed. "Well are you going to go to your hotel?" she asked.

"No," he said, looking away, wishing for her to go away.

"Get up," Izzie said, looking down at him.

"What?" he asked, looking back at her.

"I'm not going to just leave you here, so you're staying at my house tonight," she said, sounding stronger than she felt.

"Stevens, I'm perfectly fine where I am," he said, with his voice beginning to crack.

"You can either come willingly, or I'll use force, but either way, you're coming with me," Izzie said, extending a hand to him.

Mark looked at her hand for a moment, contemplating saying no again, but he simply didn't have the strength to argue with her right now. He sighed and took her hand, and stood up.

She gripped his hand tightly and led him to her car, glad he came willingly, because she wasn't exactly what she would have done if he said no again.

- - - - -

Mark woke up the next morning and at first had no idea where he was. His first thought was that he had another one night stand and didn't get out in time. Then he suddenly remembered the events from the night before. He had to fight hard to prevent tears from escaping his eyes. He had been sitting there for a few minutes before the sweat aroma met his senses. He sniffed the air and wrinkled his eyebrows. Someone was making something, and he suddenly realized how hungry he was. He stood up to go see what was being cooked, when he realized he was only wearing boxers. He didn't quite remember taking his clothes off when he went to sleep, but somehow his clothes were no longer on his body. He looked on the floor, before spotting them on the chair by the bed. They were neatly folded with a note on top of them.

_Mark,_

_Your clothes were soaked last night, so I took the liberty of washing and drying them. Your wallet and things are on the night table. You can come down to the kitchen whenever you're ready._

_Izzie_

Mark smiled to himself as he began pulling his pants on. That Izzie Stevens was quite unique, but he couldn't help but smile at the thought of her. He read the note once more before tucking it safely inside his back pocket. He smiled once again before heading down to the kitchen.

Mark walked into the kitchen and saw Izzie standing at the oven with a batch of muffins in her hands.

"You bake?" he asked.

Izzie looked up and smiled. "Yeah, it's my thing," she said, setting the tray on the counter.

"Your thing?" he asked, stepping forward.

"Yes," she said, taking the muffins off of the tray. "When I want to not think about something, I bake." She finished taking the muffins off the tray, then grabbed more batter.

"Is laundry your thing too?" he asked, sitting down.

"Its not my thing, but I'm more than happy to do it," she said, looking at him.

"Thank you," Mark said, looking at her seriously.

"For doing your laundry?" she asked, looking up at him briefly.

"No, for last night…or well, this morning," he said. "If you hadn't made me come here, I'm not sure what I would have done," he said in all honesty.

Izzie smiled and paused what she was doing. "You're welcome," she said quietly. She stared at him for a moment before going back to her baking.

"Do you only make muffins?" he asked, looking at the 4 trays of muffins.

"Oh no," Izzie said, putting the next batch in the oven. "I made cookies too, and I can bake just about anything. I can cook some things too, but I'm not that good at cooking Turkey," she said, remembering when she tried to have Thanksgiving dinner. "But I make pretty good pancakes. Do you want some?" she asked, all ready to make him breakfast.

Mark chuckled softly. "No it's alright," he said, smiling.

"No, you should eat. I'm not sure when the last time you ate was, but I know it was a while ago," she said, walking over to the cupboard. She reached up for the pancake batter but was stopped. She turned around to see Mark had a hold on her arm.

"You're use to taking care of people aren't you?" he asked.

"I don't mind," she said, looking at him.

"But you don't need to take care of me," he said quietly.

"How do you know? Maybe that's all you really need, is someone to-"

Her words were suddenly cut off by Mark pressing his lips to hers. He wasn't exactly sure why he did it, just that it felt like something he was suppose to do.

Izzie stood there, frozen. She hadn't been expecting it to happen, and it took her brain a moment to finally catch up with everything. She slowly began to kiss him back, and it was like something inside her suddenly woke up. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss.

Mark lifted her up onto the counter and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Izzie knew exactly where this was going, but couldn't seem to stop herself. She was mid way through removing his buckle when she heard something drop.

"Izzie?" a familiar voice said.

She broke the kiss and looked over Mark's shoulder to see-


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everyone!! I know its been a very very long time since I updated this story last, but I was...well actually still am..very busy. And I decided I wanted to finish my other story before I picked this one up. I just am no good at writing two stories at once. So now that I finished it, I can continue with this one. I may not always be able to update right away, but I'll try my best. Anyway, I'd like to thank those who took the time to review chapter 3: brightandshiney, Mary Jane, marlyp, Izziefan, beth1814, Mcalison, gizziefan118, and caliginous. Thank you all so much, I appreciate and love your reviews so much...and I hope you will continue to read and review...even though I was gone for a long time. Well anyway, here is the next chapter. I hope you all like it, and please read and review :-)

**_Kat_**

Chapter 4

"Izzie?"

Izzie broke the kiss and looked over Mark's shoulder to see George standing there. Her eyes widened as Mark set her back down on the floor. He re did his buckle and she tried to pull herself together.

"George," she said, not really knowing what to say to him.

George just stood there, with his mouth slightly hanging open. He had stopped by so that he and Izzie could go into the hospital together to see Meredith, and he walked in on…well he really didn't want to think about what he walked in on.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Meredith's awake, I came to get you. I thought you'd want to see her, but if you're-"

"Yeah, let me just get my purse," she said as she quickly turned off the over and ran out of the room.

George looked over at Mark who stood there, feeling extremely awkward.

"Okay, lets go," Izzie said, coming back into the room.

Uh, Izzie," George said as Izzie turned to walk out the door.

"What?" she asked, turning to him.

George nodded in Mark's direction. Izzie turned to see Mark standing there. She had somehow completely forgotten he was there.

"Oh, right. Uh, you're welcome to stay while we're gone. Just lock the front door when you leave." And with that she hurried out of the house, wanting to avoid any conversation he might have wanted to have.

- - - - -

Izzie paused outside of Meredith's room. "Has anyone told her yet?" she asked George.

"Not unless someone told her while I was gone."

Izzie peered inside the room and saw Cristina sitting there, just looking at Meredith. From what Izzie could tell from where she was standing, Meredith still looked pretty weak. She was definitely awake and alert, but it didn't seem as if she had a lot in her. Izzie sighed and looked at George.

"This might not go over very well," she said quietly.

"You're going to tell her?" George asked, sounding alarmed.

"We have to George. She would want to know right away." She sighed at the look on his face. "Wouldn't you want to know if…if the love of your life was dead," she whispered.

George gave her a strange look and Izzie decided that wasn't a very good question to ask him right at this moment. She looked away from him and took a deep breath before going in.

Meredith looked up at Izzie and George and smiled faintly.

"Hey Mer," Izzie said, standing at her side and resting her hand on her friend's.

"Hey Izz," Meredith said weakly.

"How are you feeling?" Izzie asked.

"Like I've been shot," Meredith said seriously.

Izzie mentally kicked herself for the question and gave Meredith a sympathetic smile.

"You have the day off?" Meredith asked, seeing that Izzie was the only one standing there with out scrubs.

"Yeah, Bailey told me to take the day off since…" Izzie trailed off.

"Because of me?" Meredith asked, feeling confused. Why would Izzie get the day off and not the others?

"I was the main doctor who, uhm, operated on you," Izzie said, feeling weird.

"Oh," Meredith said, feeling slightly surprised. "Well thanks," she said after a moment.

They were both quiet for a moment before they both started laughing.

"Hey who forgot to invite me to the party?" Alex said, coming in with a food tray.

"Is that for me?" Meredith asked.

"The jello is," he said, handing her the jello and a spoon before sitting down.

Izzie rolled her eyes as she watched him.

"Hey, some of us have been working hard here while you were at home sleeping comfortably," he said, eating his lunch.

"Not me," Izzie said, thinking of her sleepless night on the couch.

"Oh yeah that's right, Sloan was over," Alex said smirking.

"Sloan was over?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah, he was there when I picked Izzie up," George said, not making eye contact with Izzie.

"Wait, you took him home with you last night?" Cristina asked, speaking for the first time since they got there.

"Well yeah, I couldn't just leave him sitting all alone outside," Izzie said. Izzie looked at Meredith who was looking extremely confused and suddenly realized that she had been standing here for at least ten minutes and hadn't told Meredith about Derek.

"Wait, why was he sitting outside?" Meredith asked, before Izzie could stop the conversation.

Everyone suddenly got extremely quiet and looked at Meredith.

"What?" she asked.

"Meredith," Izzie started, looking down at her "I have to tell you something," Izzie said, trying to hold herself together.

"What?" she asked, still confused.

"It's about Derek," Izzie said.

"Oh," Meredith said, suddenly feeling very angry. "No, I don't want to talk about him. If anything he should have been the first one to visit me. He should be at my bedside groveling. I mean if he hadn't chased me-"

"Meredith," Izzie said, her eyes starting to sting.

Meredith looked up at Izzie and suddenly knew something was very wrong.

"Why isn't he here?" Meredith asked.

"Last night, when you guys ran out of the bar," Izzie started.

"Izzie, where's Derek?" Meredith asked, her voice starting to shake.

"He was shot," Izzie said, feeling her eyes water.

"Well is he okay?" Meredith asked, her eyes filling with tears as well.

Izzie tried to stop the tears as she shook her head. "He didn't make it. Mark did everything he could, but Derek had already lost too much blood," she said.

A tear slid down Meredith's cheek as she looked down at her hands. This was impossible, this couldn't be happening. They had to be lying. Meredith looked up at Izzie.

"You waited until now to tell me?" she asked.

Izzie looked down. "I was going to tell you, but I-"

"You what? Decided to make me feel better right before you tore my heart out?" Meredith said harshly.

"Meredith," Cristina said.

"No!" she yelled. "You're just as bad. You sat there the whole time and never once tried to tell me!"

"Meredith," Izzie whispered, looking back up at her.

"Get out," she said, looking down once again.

"Mer-" George stated.

"I said…get OUT!" she yelled, looking up angrily.

At this everyone decided they had better do as they were told. They hurried toward the door and left, not daring to look back.

Once everyone had gone, Meredith looked down at her hands and noticed she was shaking. She was also breathing very rapidly, and it seemed like the more she tried to stop, the worse it got. She buried her face in her hands and cried out, and began sobbing uncontrollably.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey everyone. I'd like to thank those who took the time to review the last chapter: bohemiangirl, caliginous, and gizziefan118. Thank you guys, this next chapter is for you. I got busy, again, and didnt have time to write, and I even considered not updating due to the small response I got for chapter 4, but I realized that there were some people who cared and were reading and reviewing, so I udated for you guys. So anyway, here is the next chapter...please read and review, and I hope you like it! :-)

**_Kat_**

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Chapter 5

Izzie leaned up against the wall outside of Meredith's room and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She felt horrible about what Meredith had gone through, but she knew there was nothing she could really do to make it any better.

"Izzie," George said, placing his hand on her arm.

Izzie opened her eyes and looked at him.

"I should have told her," Izzie said.

"I know, but you wanted to wait until the right time," he said, trying to make her feel better.

"George, I knew there was never going to be a right time. There's never a right time to tell someone something like that." Izzie moved her arm away and started walking down the hall.

George thought about going after her, but knew it wouldn't do any good. If Izzie wanted to be alone, then she would be alone.

Izzie walked out the front door and looked up at the dark cloudy sky. She knew it was going to rain, it was basically inevitable in Seattle. She sighed to herself, and looked ahead to find Mark standing not far away, looking at her. She went to move as to avoid him, but it was already to late, he had seen her.

"Izzie," he said, approaching her.

"Hey," she said, trying to avoid eye contact.

"You left in such a hurry earlier, I didn't get a chance to-"

"It's okay, you don't need to apologize. I know we were both going through a lot, and we just went to each other as a distraction," she said, figuring that's what he was thinking.

Mark silently looked at her for a moment before nodding.

"Yeah, you're right. Just a one time thing. Glad we got that cleared up."

Izzie looked at him strangely, confused a little by his tone.

"Well, I have to go," he said, and walked in the opposite direction.

Izzie stared after him for a moment, trying to figure out what she had done wrong, when it suddenly hit her. He hadn't come to apologize.

- - - - -

Izzie sat at home by herself the rest of the day. She couldn't go see Meredith, since she probably hated her right now. She couldn't go see George since it would be awkward with what he walked in on earlier and everything. And she most certainly could not go see Mark, because she just felt like too much of an ass to even look at him right now. How could she have been so stupid? They had been flirting for a little while, even though Izzie had never really wanted to admit it to herself. And then everything happened, and when he needed someone the most, she shot him down, leaving him to be alone. She knew enough to know, that Mark didn't have many friends. He had lots of people that kissed his ass, but not a lot who'd be there for him now. He had had Derek, and that was about it. And now he was gone, and he had no one to turn to. Izzie stood up and ran upstairs to change. She didn't care what time it was. All she knew was she had to go find Mark and make things right. Even if he hated her now, she couldn't stand to just leave him by himself it a time like this.

- - - -

Mark sat out on the balcony in his hotel room, downing another shot of whisky. He looked at the ledge and thought how nice it would be to just end it. It would be so nice just to make his pain go away. Without Derek here, who was there? His mind traveled to a certain spunky, blonde doctor. He almost smiled, before remembering what she had said to him. She had thought he had come there to apologize, when really he wanted to talk about their relationship. He laughed a little to himself. Since when did he have relationships? He wasn't sure what exactly he wanted from Izzie, but he knew he had liked her to be more than just some one night stand. He shook his head and sighed, pouring himself another shot. He set the bottle down just as there was a knock at the door. He furrowed his eyebrow and wondered who could be here at the time of night. He shrugged, it didn't matter, he wanted to be alone.

"Go away!" he shouted, hoping they'd get the message and leave.

He listened for a moment, thinking whomever it was had went away, until he heard another knock.

"Are you deaf, I said go away!" he yelled once again.

There was another moment of quietness before there was a louder knock on the door. Mark sighed deeply, setting his glass down and standing up to go yell at whoever the hell it was. He opened the door and was about to yell, when he saw Izzie standing there, looking up at him.

"Izzie?"

"Mark, look, I'm so sorry for what happened earlier. I never meant to hurt you, and I just thought that you had come there to apologize, so I figured I'd beat you to the punch so I didn't look stupid, I mean I didn't want you thinking I was weird or anything, so I just figured I'd say whatever would sound good to you and-"

Mark put his hand over his mouth. "Izzie, I didn't get half of what you said. You have to slow down a bit," he said, looking down at her.

"Sorry, I was nervous," she said quietly.

They stood there for a moment before he stepped aside. "Would you like to come in?" he asked.

Izzie nodded and walked in.

Mark shut the door behind her and sighed. "So you decided to come over here at 3 o'clock in the morning to tell me your sorry?" he asked, looking at her.

Izzie smiled slightly. "Well, yeah."

Izzie looked over at the balcony and saw the bottle of whisky. She went over and picked it up, and looked at the chair sitting close to the rail.

"You weren't thinking of-"

"No," he said rather quickly, knowing exactly what she was going to say.

"Are you sure about that?" she asked, thinking that he answered her way too quickly.

Mark sighed and sat down on his bed. "Okay, it did cross my mind briefly, but I was never really going to do anything," Mark said, as if it were no big deal.

"Mark," Izzie said quietly, stepping toward him.

"No, don't." He scooted to the other side of the bed. "I don't want your sympathy," he said, looking down.

Izzie ignored what he said, and sat next to him anyway. She put her hand on his shoulder and looked at him.

"Listen, I'm here whether you like it or not. I can't...I wont just leave you by yourself. Until I am absolutely certain that you wont try anything stupid, I'm staying here."

Mark looked up with a look of surprise. "What? You can't stay here," he said, thinking she was crazy.

"Well fine then, you'll stay at my house," she said, standing up.

"What, are you insane? I'm fine, I don't need you to babysit me," he said, crossing his arms.

Izzie stared down at him. "Look, Mark," she said, sitting back down next to him. "I'm worried about you. I know you're going through a lot right now, and I would never ever forgive myself if something happened to you," she said, sincerely.

Mark looked up at her again and looked into her eyes. "You really care, don't you?"

Izzie smiled slightly. "Yeah, I do."

Mark looked at her for a moment, before leaning in and kissing her softly on the lips. Izzie smiled and kissed him back briefly before pulling away.

"You have no idea how much I want to kiss you again," she said, looking at him.

"But?" he said, knowing there was a but in that sentence.

"But your breath smells terrible," she said, laughing.

Mark smiled and laughed. "You really know how to charm a guy, don't you?" he said.

She smiled and kissed his cheek. "Yes I do."


	6. Chapter 6

Hey everyone! I want to start off with thanking those who read and reviewed the last chapter: brightandshiney, lio, bohemiangirl, and Mcalison. You guys are awesome, I love your reviews! Sorry it takes me a while to update. I'm always busy and I just dont have much time to write anymore. I will continue with this story, but I cant guarantee when I will update. And after this story I may need to take a break. I have a wedding to plan and everything is just extremely hectic, but I don't plan on staying away forever. Well anyway, here is the next chapter. Hope you like it, and please read and review!!

**_Kat_**

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Chapter 6

Mark woke up to the sun shining brightly through the window. He covered his eyes and groaned.

"Good morning sunshine!" Izzie said, walking over toward Mark who had finally woken up.

Mark removed his arm and looked at Izzie, feeling slightly confused. He thought about it for a moment, before remembering her coming over the night before.

"Hey," he mumbled, sitting up.

Izzie sat down on the edge of the bed, handing him two Tylenol and a glass of water.

Mark took the pills and popped them into his mouth, before drinking the whole glass of water. "Thank you," he said, handing back the glass.

Izzie set it on the night table, and leaned forward and kissed Mark softly on the lips. "You should get ready," she said, standing up.

"For what?" he asked, thinking he didn't have anywhere to go that day.

"We're going into the hospital to visit Meredith," Izzie said, laying out clothes for Mark.

"We?" he asked.

"Yes, we," Izzie said, looking at him. "I'm still not leaving you by yourself," she said, looking at him seriously.

Mark sighed deeply before getting out of bed. He walked over to Izzie and looked down at her. "I'll be okay here for a little bit," he said, almost believing his own words.

Izzie looked up at him and shook her head. "No, you're coming with me." She turned and laid a nice pair of jeans and a t-shirt on the bed.

Mark sighed once again before heading into the bathroom. There was no use arguing with that woman, when she made up her mind, she did not change it.

Izzie was in the process of hiding the alcohol when she heard the bathroom door open. She turned around quickly so he didnt see her, but immediately knew that had been a bad idea. Mark was clad only in a towel around his waist, and he was wet. Izzie's eyes widened, and she knew she should look away, but she found herself unable to.

Mark looked over at her and smirked. He walked toward her and watched as she slowly stood up.

Izzie realized that a practically naked Mark Sloan was merely inches away from her, and suddenly found her brain to not work properly.

"Your um, clothes are on the, uh..." she stuttered.

"Bed?" Mark asked seductively, moving if possible, even closer.

"Uh huh," Izzie said, absent mindedly, staring at his lips.

Mark smirked once again before pulling Izzie into a searing kiss.

Izzie's body pressed against his, and she could feel her shirt getting wet, but she somehow just didn't care. She kissed him back and wrapped her arms around him.

Mark mimicked her and wrapped his arms around her as well, but lifted her up and carried her over to the bed. He pushed the clothes and shoes off the bed, before laying her down, and falling on top of her. He broke the kiss briefly and looked down at her.

Izzie looked up at him, with a sort of pout, and that made Mark want her even more. Without anymore hesitation he brought his lips back down to hers and completely lost himself in the moment.

- - - - -

When Izzie and Mark finally made it to the hospital, it was 7 o'clock and most visitors were leaving. They walked in holding hands, and got many strange looks, but Izzie just ignored them. When they got to Meredith's room, Izzie stopped and looked at Mark.

"Is it okay if I go in and talk to her for a few minutes by myself before you come in?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Of course," he said, wondering why she thought she had to ask him.

She smiled and kissed him. "I'll come get you when I'm done..don't go anywhere," she said, before turning and walking into the room.

When she walked in, Meredith was just lying there, staring at the ceiling.

"Hey," Izzie said, hoping Meredith wasn't going to yell at her.

Meredith look over and smiled slightly. "Hey Izz. I didn't think you were gonna visit me again."

"Of course I was gonna, why wouldn't I?" she asked, walking closer.

"Well I kind of went crazy yesterday," she said quietly.

"It's okay, I understand," Izzie said, sitting on the edge of Meredith's bed. "I should have told you right away, instead of trying to hide it from you," Izzie said, feeling extremely guilty.

"I wish you would have told me right away, but I don't know if I would have acted much differently," Meredith said in all honesty.

"I'm so sorry Meredith," Izzie said, tears filling her eyes.

"For what?" Meredith asked, confused at why Izzie was crying.

"If I hadn't suggested Joe's that night, and if I wouldn't have started yelling at Derek, you would have never run out, and he would never had chased you, and neither of you would have gotten shot, and he'd still be..."

"Izzie, it's not your fault," Meredith said, her eyes watering as well.

"Yes it is! Don't you remember? I started yelling at Derek, and I caused a whole scene, and you left because we were arguing. If I would have just kept my mouth shut, none of this would've happened. You wouldn't be lying in a hospital bed, and Derek would be...he'd be.."

"Izzie," Mark said from the doorway.

Both Izzie and Meredith looked up. Izzie wiped her eyes quickly, but it was no use.

"I thought you were waiting outside," Izzie said.

"I heard yelling," he said stepping toward her.

Izzie stood up and walked over to him. "I'm almost done, just go back out there and-"

"Actually I need to talk to you quickly," he said.

"But, I-"

"Now."

Izzie looked over to Meredith. "I'll be right back, okay?"

Meredith nodded, feeling extremely confused, and watched as Izzie and Mark walked out of the room together.

"Izzie what was going on in there?" Mark asked, looking down at her.

"Nothing," she lied "We were just talking."

"Why were you yelling at her and crying?" he asked, concerned.

"I wasn't yelling at her exactly," she said, not wanting to tell him that everything was her fault. If he knew it was her fault, he might feel differently about her.

"Izzie," he said, crossing his arms.

"Okay," Izzie said, knowing there was no way out of this. "Its my fault," she said, looking down.

"What?" Mark asked, feeling confused.

"That night, I started arguing with Derek, and that's why Meredith left. And then Derek followed her, and then they got shot. Its my fault they got shot. And its my fault that Derek's dead," she said, the tears coming back. She continued to stare at the floor, unable to look at Mark.

"Izzie," Mark whispered, looking down at her. He couldn't believe that she had somehow found a way to blame herself for everything. "This isn't your fault," he said.

"Yes it is," she said, as a tear slid down her cheek.

Mark lifted her chin so she would have to look at him.

"Izzie, there is no way I'm going to let you blame yourself for this. The only person who is at fault for this, is the man who had the gun. That's it." He leaned forward slowly and planted a soft kiss on her lips.

Izzie buried her head in his chest and sighed. She didn't know how, but somehow Mark could make it seem like nothing in the world could get to her while he was around. This thought kind of frightened her, but at the same time, it was the most comforting thought ever.


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